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Strandcafe: The Best Ribs.

Strandcafé, Florian-Berndl-Gasse, Vienna, Austria / 13 июля 2017

One person who is close to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, named Boris (he wished to remain incognito; a brilliant, cheerful and merely a great man!), told me that there’s a cafe in Vienna adored by all the diplomatic workers where tremendously good pork ribs are served. However, he was distressed because he thought the place had been closed down.

Indeed, it turned out that the cafe had shut down, but only for renovation. For the past three months the place has been open.

It’s located not far from the touristy center of Vienna, in a quiet place next to the water, and is surrounded by fancy villas. While we were getting there, the taxi driver repeatedly consulted the map on his phone and even called someone a few times to ask how to get there.

Outside it looks like a kind of a boat shed. The esthetics of a forty-foot container in minimalist-Scandinavian design.

Inside you immediately get into an open kitchen. The hubbub of a typical German beer garden is heard all around. The smell of fried meat activates excessive saliva. You pass by the kitchen and find yourself outside again. The majority of the tables are in the open air, on a quay and on a pontoon. The furniture’s made of wood and is garden type without any tablecloths.

All tables were occupied, the place was full despite the fact it was a Tuesday! We tried to book a table the day before the visit but that didn’t work, reservations should be made at least three days before.

There’s always a crowd at the entrance to the pontoon. It’s a queue on the first-come, first-served basis. You have to wait about 30-40 min. No tourists, only locals.

At last, the hall manager takes us to a free table. Immediately the waiter appears.

The waiters should be discussed separately. They all are huge and brawny men. And so are the women. They carry drinks (mostly BEER) and food (mostly RIBS) on huge trays. The work is organized methodically in Austrian style: one person takes in the order by means of a tablet and immediately sends it to the kitchen, and another brings the food. In the end, the hall, which under the classical approach would require not less than 10 people, here is perfectly attended by 5.

Austrian national cuisine is on the menu. But we have no interest in the menu. Straight away we order the stuff we have come here for: ribs and beer. No need to specify, you are understood immediately.

Ribs are the two ribbons of fantastic fried pork ribs. A minimum of spices, no fat; tasty even if they’re cold. Potatoes are fried in large circles, onion rings, hot pepper and two sauces: garlic mayonnaise and a very hot chili one. The portion is huge. Girls can safely have one for two.

The freshest unpasteurized Budweiser. They make it exclusively for this cafe at a beer factory in Budějovice. This Budweiser is very different from what you normally get in Moscow. Doesn’t matter if it’s draft or bottled. I’m not a big fan of Czech Lager, but here it is the one and only.

Clinking beer mugs, chorus of frogs and no Wi-Fi. Ultimate booze!

Strandcafé, Florian-Berndl-Gasse, Vienna, Austria