I spend a lot of time in Japan. And, of course, I try a lot of different Japanese food.

But marbled beef shabu-shabu was sort of not my thing: in the “beginning of my career”, having decided to play a gourmet, I had this solemn dish several times but the restaurant was never suited for such a purpose. I didn’t enjoy it and figured out that “cooking some vague meat on your own for 5000 Yen was way too much”.

So, I dropped it. For about 10 years. There’s plenty of food in Tokyo besides it.

But then my Tokyo friend took me to the target restaurant on the outskirts of Roppongi.

We enter a windowless semi-basement. The design is traditional Japanese. There’s traditional staff and traditional Japanese VIP-guests: a woman in kimono with accessories, who looks like the head of a yakuza clan, and men in suits, who look like some ministers.

The woman casts a bloodthirsty glance on us and the hostess takes us to a table away from all prying eyes.

Everything is expensive in the menu. From the first page up to ice cream. There’s a lot of everything. Not just meat. But, of course, that’s what you’re here for. And also for super melon.

Meat sets start at 7000 Yen, which is already immodest enough, and get up to the cosmic 30 000 Yen. And more than that – you get 3 pieces for these money, just like in the photos, THREE PIECES OF MEAT for $70-300.

Anticipating your outcry I shall immediately say: YES, IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT!

This is a fancy restaurant. If you want to enjoy yourselves, make sure you have about $700 for two people (for a dinner with some simple wine). Just mentally write this money off so that you don’t think about it and don’t count anything. For you just to enjoy.

And indeed you will – if your taste buds don’t fail you.

There are two types of sets: kushiyaki and shabu-shabu – a grilled one and a boiled one. And it’s really weird but you should go for the boiled one. Yup, for some boiled meat in the broth. That’s it. Who would have thought?

The set consists of various courses: the meat itself, tofu/vegetables/mushrooms, noodles, and finally the broth in which the girls cook the meat for you right at your table.

There’s a gas cooker, a pot with broth (perhaps, it’s all about broth). A waitress-girl takes a lace-like slice of beef (I don’t go for the most expensive/the fattest one, I usually get something in the middle of the price range), and dips it for about 15-20 seconds in the boiling broth. You watch the fat being instantly melt as it releases the pure meat, and then she gives it to you.

YES, FUCKING PLAIN BOILED MEAT WITHOUT A THING.

When for the first time I skeptically put it in my mouth, I experienced a gastro-shock: instead of flavorless boiled meat something inconceivable exploded inside my mouth. I mean, it had sort of a concentrated meat flavor which was flowing over the palate in gradients, like a perfect model of the meat taste, like a beef simulation.

So I fucking sit there, befuddled and silent, and the sweet waitress is laughing in muted voice, Japanese style.

Just like this.

Oh yeah, there’s a specially bred super melon for dessert. All that has been said about the meat can be applied to this melon.

If someone ever tries to persuade you that marbled beef is “just for showing off and a waste of money”, be sure there’s a pretentious jerk™ in front of you or a person whose taste buds fail him.