You can hardly find a good cafe in the central square anywhere in the world.  It’s usually 100% tourist trap. The factor of some “fat tourist ass”, which by all means has to sit down and drink something right in the central square with a view on whatever central there might be (a tower, a cathedral, a fountain, etc.), is multiplied by the factor of having won the lottery of geographical location. As a result, there develops a severe form of fucking indifference on the part of the staff and an atrophy of conscience on the part of the owners.

You can’t reach them, they hardly respond. The food is from the microwave oven. In short, it’s a great place to urinate for 1eur. Don’t even have coffee there. I’m sure the cups aren’t washed properly.

Saint-Tropez Senequier cafe has all the features of a shitty cafe in the central square. It’s located right in front of the port and overlooks yachts and the deck routine of their successful inhabitants. Besides, it’s open since 1887. It’s got an extremely bright façade and some beckoning chaise lounges. There’s a constant fight between tourists with packages for the first and second rows of the tables with a view, and the waiters are mean. Alright, all this is indeed present.

Many years I tried to avoid this place, though couple of times, out of mere despair, I did take a seat in the first row. I was hiding from the family shopping or waiting out while my kids went for some ice cream.

But here’s a life hack: don’t sit in the first rows, go up to the manager and tell him that you’ve come here to eat. Then you’ll find yourself seated in the rear of “the tourist with packages” thing and the place will change dramatically – the tables are of other form and have white cloths, there’s a proper menu, the wine list, you see different people, different faces, including celebrities.

If such places, where you can eat three times a day and don’t get bored, exist, this is one of them. Under any scenario, food is ready in ten minutes. And it’s always perfect. Green salad, niҫoise, Caesar, salmon ceviche, tuna tartare, beef tartare, shrimps avocado, lobster pasta, fillet steak with pepper sauce in Thai style, wagyu entrecôte; side dishes: green beans, green salad, French mashed potatoes, the secret of which is 1 : 1 potato to butter ratio, omelet with truffle or without, 4 types of desserts – this is pretty much the whole of menu.

I won’t write about the taste of the food, its servings and other things here. If you’re lucky enough to be able to imagine a perfect French bistro-brasserie, you’ll understand me. Otherwise, it’s not even worth taking time trying to describe it. Always perfect, constantly, for many years. You can drop by or stay for a while, you can have a snack or a proper dinner with champagne.

On the wall there’s an advertisement of this cafe, a vintage poster of the beginnings of 20^th century that says: “Branded alcohol, prestigious champagne, delicate wines”. The beauty of the statement charmed me and should serve as a postscript to this short review of an ideal French bistro