It’s always a very simple recipe, each year, we are up for Mallorca … And we go to Palma. We leave the car at the parking lot, which is close to the central church and after a meditative glance at the schooners of the central altar, given as a present to the city by the great Gaudi (whilst listening to the «Hallelujah to Love» from Rybnikov’s «Juno and Avos» playing in my head for no reason). With a traditional candle I indecipherable mumble (because I do not remember prayers, and HE doesn’t understand Russian here, right?), we leave for the famous Placa de la Reina.

The house number 5 is the shelter of my gastronomy world’s first one — temperate – Forn projects.

Simple. For the sake of food. Some style. Like everything in Palma in general in this area, reminiscent of Born in Barcelona or Bio Alto in Lisbon. Yet, at the entrance there is a man. He is in a strict black shirt and with a tablet in his hands. You try right and he gets to the right. You try left and again he gets to the left. After losing at the checkers at the entrance, you raise your eyes. He smiles. There are many tourists – he is alone. Alright, then.

“Reserve?” he says it in a way that it would become crystal clear even for a fool.

“Non,” we do give up.

It’s been years in a row we are eating at OMBU, yet we can’t get it in our heads. I- dio-ts. Maybe, it’s because we are from the north. OK, we have to make that pity eyes. Do ask. It’s worth it.

The man gives up: “Ok, give me an hour.”

And you say: “No let’s make it two.”

You leave your phone number and you go round the corner. The second from the chain is right there. KOA – Tikka, a bar with a panasian grill and funny snacks. Of course, there is the main menu too. But you do need a drink before the dinner. You will be seated. Yet, somewhere far away and uncomfortably. Yet, you will get a table (clever ones would make a reservation in advance of course). We will sit where we did get a place. Because it’s not only about the atmosphere. It is beautiful in KOA, but the reason is the food.

Like all maniacs, we have the scheme in our heads. Take tacos with pork, traditions and diet can wait. Beef Carpaccio with foie gras and seviche. And nothing more, otherwise your evening won’t be too long. And they are waiting for you for the dinner at OMBU. Let it all down with cocktails more of cassia or gin – they are all delicious and do look bizarre. Then you go forward.

It’s time to walk around. All of the area is magnificent – La Lonja: a network of ancient streets all filled with bars and rerstaurants in a single step. And I must say – they are all here as one – beautiful. Yet the best one is ours.

So, on a way you have to pop in to a third restaurant – more heavy, yet it’s not less tasty by any means – Forn, that’s the one. Here you just book a table for tomorrow.

Cocktails make you smarter and you start thinking about tomorrow, right? And tomorrow you will go to the alcoholic’s disneyland to drink your cocktails – the house of the antiqs and a rare eccentric man who did give the house and his collection away to this bar. I guess he doesn’t care about a thing anymore. Well, it’s directly opposite.

In Forn you should surely take strawberry gazpacho with scarlet shrimps tartar and sea urchins, a pigeaon with pear puree and foie gras, lobster carpaccio with salt, with hibiscus and with lemon pesto. As for the main, skipping the steak from the kangaroo (hell knows why they have it here), you should take classic black angus or paunch of a black pig, or langoustine with parmesan cream.

In Forn surely take gazpacho strawberry with tartar from scarlet shrimps and sea urchins, a pigeon with pear puree and foie gras, carpaccio of lobster with salt with hibiscus and lemon pesto. And on the hot, avoiding the steak from the kangaroo (hell knows why he was here), take the classic black angus or paunch of a black pig, or langoustine with a cream of parmesan. And again let it all down with any wine from the menu and here it is – happiness.

STOP. It’s tomorrow! Didn‘t you forget the you did not have a dinner yet today? The responsible guy from OMBU will remind you about that.

Everything here is in micro-feeds. Boldly each of you should take 5-6 to start. Even the main ones are in half-portions. OMBU was inspired by Peruvian tiger milk and Japanese ponzu and wakame, even fired eggs, which must be eaten with its potato foam and truffles. The mystery of simplicity will unfold in a sobrassado on potata brava foam, and in croissants with bovine tails, and in truffle parmentier. Finish your cannelloni with lamb, onion sauce and apricot puree, and here you are – you need a walk again.

Wander from bar to bar – you can drink any wine and everywhere in Mallorca. Because it is a paradise for irresponsible wine. It’s cheap and good quality. Well, that’s enough for you today. It’s time to go home. To the touristy Santa Ponsa or to quiet bays of Andraix with Cala Fornells.

Till tomorrow. Yet you do know that tomorrow isn’t going to be any worse!

Thank you Nyusha, Motya and Vera, that you helped me to handle it all on my feet.